Prince Bryan

Louie Fooye -- 'bout time there was a royal named Bryan, IMHO. If they're not going to christen a Bryan, they're just going to have to marry one... I'm available, 'course. Not sure which royal I could bag at my age, but if it helps the Bryan cause, I'll do it -- as long as I don't have to wear brand new clothes every day -- that's the thing that would irritate me the most: it takes me more than a day to decide what to buy, and so even if I lived in the Gap, or Next or Tescos, I still couldn't find enough stuff. I'd just have to stay in the shop all the time until I had made up my mind what to wear. The weirdo hermit prince they'd call me! The prince that golems around the underbelly of Tescos trying on George clothing.

Anyway -- I'm single at the moment. So Royals, get a move on. I'm not going to ditch the love of my life, or even the love of my next month, if she turns up, just to help you guys out.